I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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