It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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