He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Randomize
