Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
