dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
