Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
people are starting to question the shark bite story
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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