Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
