You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
