I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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