You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
