Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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