K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
