I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
