i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We had sex on a dog bed..
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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