i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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