you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
