This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
