He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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