Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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