I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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