a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
