Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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