Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
