school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
