A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
