Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You are a genius and a whore.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
