Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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