maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
