i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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