yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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