I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
