I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
