We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize