if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
