Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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