I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize