i think i have herpe
just one?
I intend to get homeless drunk
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
