Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
