If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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