I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
