I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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