Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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