Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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