She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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