the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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