I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
