I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
