my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
