I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have grass duct taped all over my body
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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