new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
