Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize