She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
