i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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