Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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