Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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