yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize