i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
