I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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