After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
