I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
it's like heaven, but drunker
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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