I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
