...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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