That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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