pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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